Hi John

Most of the folks who have left Christadelphia on the Ex-Christadelphian Facebook group had wanted to leave for years before they finally did exit the cult.

I say "cult" because it is only cults that ostracize ex-members from family and former friends in the cult. Suddenly, the exiting member becomes a pariah to be avoided by trusted friends and family - all the while pretending they are shunning them because they love them and want them to return to the fold. 

The way I see, none of them 'asked' to be born into that messed up religion to start with and the cult is upset because their brainwashing didn't stick. The folks who were not raised in the religion but converted to it from other religions don't seem to have as much problem leaving but usually end up being really angry about being duped.

In either case, it takes a lifetime to get over it - if that's even possible. Some say they have gotten over it but I notice that they are still talking about it just the same as if they hadn't. Actually, it's not getting over it; it's getting past it and reaching a point of not caring whether it's right or wrong.
Sweet, harmless, innocent Christadelphians.
But if you leave; they are going to condemn you!

Susan may feel that she owes them some kind of explanation for leaving - she doesn't. She doesn't owe them anything - they owe her, in my opinion, but she's never going to get the satisfaction because they are never wrong. Simply write a letter saying, "I quit". That's good enough.

Personally, I wouldn't do anything except just not go back and if they call I would just say "I'm not interested in that garbage". And, if they want to know why etc - I would just say, "I don't want to talk about it". The way I look at, it's far better to be the dumpER than the dumpEE. Let them play the victim part for a change. After all, it is the cult that has something to defend, not Susan. Susan is free to do whatever she wants.


Editor's Note: We have changed the name of the de-converting Christadelphian to protect her/his identity.

If you are thinking of de-converting we are here to help and advise if required. See our "How to resign" page here:

The Ex-Christadelphians Facebook Group is a great group for de-converting Christadelphians to join to get support and friendship through this difficult time.  Click here to visit the group. It is a closed group to protect your privacy. You will need to join to get full access. The group is run independently of this website.

We can be emailed at this address:

1 comment:

  1. Hello,
    I left CD 23 years ago
    Came back to re connect
    Did so for 7-8 weeks
    Was reminded of the past dysfunction
    Present dysfunction. I dont like being on Facebook but would like to know of different contacts in SA, where I can post comments and receive replies?
    Thank you


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