Leaving my childhood religion

By (name withheld by editor)

I am a teenage "Christadelphian", at least to those around me. I have been struggling with faith ever since I was a child, and yet it is only recently that I have found the courage to try and break free from the constrictive hold of my childhood religion.

I have been ignoring the signs for years, desperately trying to find some peace as a Christadelphian, but I've finally accepted that I can't. Now the only thing I'm struggling with is fear, fear of the unknown, fear that I'm wrong and succumbing to my "fleshly way of thinking". I'm also afraid of losing my family, and friends, of being shunned by the society I have grown to depend on. I'm emailing you because I don't have many people to go to, and I know you've been through what I am currently going through. Any advice from you would be wonderful. Thanks.


  1. You may lose your family, almost certainly your friends inside the religion. Personally I left in my early 20s. I had not actually got baptised so did not get too much pressure, however family were terribly upset when I got baptised in mainstream Christainity (it being astray and all that). Thirty years later and I still have my family. Unshackeling myself from the upbringing was hard, for a long time I felt a twinge of guilt when voting for example, democracy being evil and all that. In his booklet on why the religion is not a cult Ashton says any member is free to leave at any time! The biggest herecy they teach is is that you have to be right, get over that and be free.

  2. Agreed with Anonymous: The correct answer is you *may* lose your family, not you *will* lose your family. It is also possible to hold onto some friends, though it is naturally much harder when not having regularly organised meetings where you see them and hear what's going on. Even if you keep relationships, they will almost certainly change in various ways.

    Much of that depends on your particular circumstances, and some of it unfortunately you will only really know after taking the plunge. Some of it will be in your hands, how you choose to relate to others. And some of it won't. As a generalisation, almost everyone was really nice to me, but I'm certainly aware that isn't true in all cases.

    What I would say is that I let fear control me for far too long, and it wasn't healthy: living in limbo-land is difficult and exhausting in its own right. And like you, I found that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find a way back. You sound like you are at the point where it has become too painful to stay. That doesn't make it easy to go, and I might not be the best source of wisdom around, but my experience was that the process was not as hard as I expected and I am very glad that I (finally) took the plunge.

    If John sees fit he is welcome to pass on contact details for this pseudonym to you.

    1. Yep. Artfully disguised as a younger person.

    2. What a Load of Garbage, I don't think you or anyone else for that matter could say that his family and friends will turn their back on him. I have seen people leave and this has noto happened to them.In fact the opposite is true....people like to check in and make sure others are ok. I really don't know which Ecclesia you belonged to John Bedson but they sound very Archaic and way way over the top. I for one have never had any of things you speak of when you were in the Truth. Either I am lucky or you speak from a place of Bitterness.

    3. Anonymous January 29th,
      It is not a "load of garbage", it was a timely warning that shunning can happen. I can tell you as fact that Cd`s have been known to completely ignore ex-Cd`s on meeting in the street, even though they were close friends when both in fellowship, sharing happy times both in and out of the ecclesia. That says a lot about the depth of indoctrination that is buried in some Cd`s brains. You, I think, should sit down and very carefully excavate the mire of what you are into.

  3. I was in exactly the same position as you when I was a teenager. I had been through the usual Sunday school and youth circle/youth day process, but had decided from a fairly early age that it was all nonsense. I found the meetings unspeakably boring and irrelevant and avoided them wherever possible. I wasn't pressured into getting baptized, apart from the odd pointed comment, but that was probably because I showed no interest in it at all. Fortunately I had a good set of friends outside the meeting, so as I drifted away from my peers as they got baptized it wasn't much of a loss at all. In fact it was a relief to escape their baffling naivety!
    My immediate family were thankfully accepting of the fact that I had no interest, and I still have a good relationship with them all regardless. I occasionally bump into my Sunday school peers and have a bit of fun firmly deflecting any suggestion that I should " read my Bible" or other such ingrained banalities that they are programmed to parrot. They just love being confronted with reason and logic! (Not)
    I now live a good and satisfying life, have a good relationship with family and friends and don't have to waste every Sunday being bored to death listening to half baked lectures and pseudo science talks. There is life outside the walls of the meeting room, you just have to take control and go and grab it.

  4. Name witheld by editorFebruary 1, 2017 at 1:29 AM

    Thank you for taking the time to read my email. The responses helped to encourage me a lot.


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