|Do I leave, or do I stay in the Christadelphians?|
Basically I'm writing this because I'm not really sure what to do with this whole Christadelphian thing. I'm a female and I've lived in it all my life and I think it is actually becoming mentally damaging for me to stay. For example even sending this email feels like a sin and makes me feel like I am a worthless person.
I think that the religion is subjecting me to feelings of immense guilt and anxiety. I pray compulsively, and most of the time I don't realise I'm doing it until halfway through. These habits have become worse after I became baptised, along with criticism to the way I dress, and insinuations that I am 'disrespecting the men by my clothing choices'. I was also made to wear a hat and was added to the 'sisters' cleaning roster? I also am instructed to, along with the other 'sisters' prepare meals for the ecclesia to eat. I am also concerned because, as I am not allowed to be an AB. I do not have any say in 'ecclesial issues'.
The problem I have is that I am worried it will cause a massive riff in my family and that my parents may dispose me for it. I also worry that they will teach my siblings that I am stupid and should not be respected as a proper person. I am also concerned at what it will do to my grandfather as it will likely make him immensely sad and angry I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk to him again after it. I feel really stuck and was wondering if you had any advice?
Thanks, Sarah (Name altered by editor)