She has kindly allowed us to use her real name and some will recognise who she is. They will doubtless agree with me that Dawn is one of the finest and most remarkable sisters to ever grace a Christadelphian Hall. I have endless admiration for her. For the Christadelphians to lose Dawn is a devastating blow for the religion.
Even though she has left the Christadelphians she does not consider herself to be an Ex-Christadelphian. She wants to leave it all behind and who can blame her? But here at Ex-Christadelphians we hold precious Dawn very dear in our hearts and she is one of the brightest and most brilliant stars in our firmament. There is nothing that we would not do for her.
My original reply to Dawn can be read here: Click here.
I still believe in God as Creator and that he has some kind of redemptive plan for the earth, but at the moment I can't find my way back to having any kind of real relationship with Him - though I do thank Him for all the good things. But that's about it at the moment - my faith has evaporated under the pain of seeing things for what they really were, yet I still maintain an irreducible minimum of some kind of faith in a creator God.
I hope I don't lose my faith entirely, but at the moment I am not even interested in some kind of after life which was such a powerful incentive for me, but occasionally I think it would be good to witness a better time and place :)
I'm afraid I've jacked it all in and I just don't go there anymore - including all the "ex" stuff (which I also found difficult). The piece I wrote for "Whose Truth" I wrote a while back. I'm really just not interested in CDia at all - either ex-stuffs or otherwise!
I am just content with my irreducible minimum of belief and giving of thanks and that's it :) .....if you see what I mean. I don't want to think about it anymore, or flashbacks might return. I'm through with it all. But thank you for your encouragement and kind words :)
(Editor's note: The layout and punctuation is original - it is a form of poetry
dear uninterested friends
i have been married to my alien husband for over 19 years now. several of your endogamous marriages broke down in your midst after i left, and i heard what you said about it - that it is human weakness. i am weak and human too, though i am still married - albeit to an alien. you have learnt that endogamous marriages do not ensure marital success and happiness.
on the subject of marriage, i was thinking, my time with you was a bit like a courtship and a very brief marriage – we seemed so well matched, you and i, with our mutual love of truth and rational thinking. yet in the end we weren't compatible at all. we are very different. you could not appreciate my qualities of being able to love beyond your boundaries, and i could not appreciate your qualities of theological and doctrinal purity. so i guess divorce between us was inevitable, even though i was so compliant with your many requirements because i loved you and wanted to please you. despite being baptised a second time into your special covenant - like an initiation ceremony to take me to yourself – it still didn’t work sadly. i was so ready for that baptism, and happy to do it for you, and for myself too. i was so so happy to be part of you – even though it went all pear-shaped.
but my knowing about our parting is that it forced me to take a second look at many issues. which is healthy i guess. taking a second look at things can be revealing.
and - i still have my extra large kjv bible which with lots of marginalia in it – written in small, neat finely pencilled handwriting. how i loved coming to your meeting with that bible in it’s blue cover. i was so proud to have a big bible like that with so many erudite notes in it. it made me feel good at the time, and it served me well. i never read it now.
the decree absolute dissolved some bad things, so that is good.
Editor's Note: More letters from Dawn soon.