Wasting Time

If you devote serious time to the practice of religion, it’s safe to say you practice toilet-bowl time management, flushing much of your precious life down the drain with little or nothing to show for it.

First, you’ll waste a lot of time filling your head with useless nonsense. This includes reading some of the worst fiction ever written. Then there are various rules, laws, and practices to learn.


Seriously, if you have insomnia, try reading religious texts before bedtime. You’ll be asleep faster than you can say Methuselah. It’s the greatest sedative known to man. I have to give props to the Scientologists for at least incorporating space aliens into their stories. It’s a shame Gene Roddenberry didn’t formally invent his own religion; Stovokor sounds like a lot of fun.

Once you finally realize your head has been filled with utter nonsense (if you ever do), you must then purge such garbage from your mind if you want your brain to be functional again. That can take considerably longer, assuming you succeed at all. It’s like trying to uninstall AOL from your hard drive.

Next, you can expect to waste even more time on repetitive ritual and ceremony, such as attending church meetings, praying, Bible studies, daily Bible readings and practicing unproductive meditations.

If I add up the time I attended church and Sunday school, studied religion as if it were a serious subject, and memorized various proof texts, I count thousands of hours of my life I’d love to have back. Now if you really go overboard and throw in learning a dead language for good measure, you can kiss years and years of your life goodbye.

The more time you devote to religious practice, the more you waste your life on a pointless, dead-end pursuit… and the more you’ll want to delude yourself with a phony “He-he, I meant to do that” attitude.

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